Any woman is very hard going through the betrayal of her husband. And although, “starting a mistress”, not every man plans to create a family and a serious relationship with her, for the wives the fact of betrayal is a huge tragedy, from which they can lose ground for a long time. In order to understand what to do in the case of male adultery, you need to know about its signs and causes.
Signs of treason husband
Not every woman is able to understand that her husband has got a mistress, and to the last can faithfully believe in his loyalty. But the signs of adultery are very easy to recognize.
The first thing a woman begins to feel is anxiety. Although this is not a reliable sign of her husband's betrayal, but by openly asking him a question on this topic, you can immediately understand whether he is lying to you or not.
What should I pay attention, suspecting your loved one of treason?
- My husband suddenly had an interest in his appearance. He began to acquire new clothes, changed his permanent style, began to use toilet water, although he had not seen this before;
- The smell of his body has changed, and not only from the use of perfume, but also from close bodily contact with an outside woman;
- Much has changed attitude to his wife. If he considers her guilty of treason, it will be manifested by irritability and nervousness. Or he becomes suddenly attentive and caring because of feelings of guilt;
- Avoids intimate relationships. Men under the age of 40 need regular sex, at least 4 - 5 times a month, and after 40 at least once a month. The behavior during proximity also varies;
- Sudden venereal disease. In this case, men begin to make excuses that they got the infection in the sauna or in the pool. The cause of this disease can be a constant lover, as well as a one-time "trip to the left", which many men do not consider treason;
- New habits are emerging, changes in behavior and routine are taking place, and tastes change. For example, if earlier during the meal he could not do without onions and garlic, then a sharp rejection of favorite habits should alert any woman;
- From the family budget began to disappear money for unexpected expenses of the husband. This is also the main sign of betrayal, as the lover, like every woman, needs not only attention, but also gifts;
- He began to linger at work, leave for frequent business trips, there is little to appear and spend time at home;
- Began to constantly hide a mobile phone, or put a password on it, although this was not observed before. During the conversation, he tries to retire. If earlier he behaved differently, then this can also be a signal of treason;
- He also behaves when working on a computer: he put the password on social networks, changed his mail, erases the history of all visits.
If you have noticed one of the above signs, then you should not panic, you can simply openly discuss this topic with your husband.
What to do if the husband is cheating and lying?
It is not necessary to find out the relationship and quarreling with her husband in the event of treason. This will not be able to change anything. But if it is very difficult to keep emotions, then you can pour them on your spouse, he deserves it.
If you understand that this will make you much easier, then go ahead! You can cry if you really want. But most importantly, it is necessary to control your emotions and not to break away from friends and relatives. This is especially true of children.
No need to try to find a mistress, quarrel with her or revenge. Do not be like a husband and go on treason in order to take revenge. By doing this you will make yourself worse.
At first, you need to be in the circle of loved ones, relatives and friends who can support you and help you survive this state. It is necessary to listen to advice and talk to loved ones. But the decision will need to take their own.
Whether you can forgive your husband, or whether divorce is inevitable is up to you. It is better to spend this time separately from the husband, since his presence will be experienced hard and may incorrectly influence the outcome of the decision.
If you both were provocateurs of treason, but he strongly repents and asks for forgiveness, then of course you can forgive. But to forgive is not to forget. Therefore, before making a decision, you need to think carefully about whether you can continue the relationship without your trust.
If you have doubts that the husband will stop his "trips to the left", or he has feelings for his mistress, or you understand that you cannot forgive him - then parting will be the best option.
It is better to wait with a divorce, the first time you can just live separately. In the event of a change in the situation and decision, you can restore the relationship.
How to behave when you learn about the betrayal of her husband?
After you have learned about her husband's infidelity, you must perform the following steps:
- Calm down and pull yourself together. You can do physical or useful work: clean up, wash, and so on;
- If you can not calm down, you can drink sedatives (valerian or Corvalol);
- The first day you do not need to do anything, because on emotions everything can end in scandal;
- Think about whether you need this man and whether you want to continue to live with him;
- Start a conversation with her husband. Try to understand why he went for it or what provoked him to do this. Very often go to treason, for any reason. And one of them may be a misunderstanding in the family;
- In cases of forgiveness, let the husband know that this was the first and last time;
- You can disperse for a while, so that your emotions and thoughts come in order, and you can correctly assess the situation and make the necessary decision;
- If you decide to forgive the betrayal of your husband, consider whether you can do it to the end, if you will constantly remind her of it, and whether you will turn your family life into hell.
Causes of male adultery
The reasons for which a man goes to treason a huge amount. Therefore, it is very important to notice changes in a timely manner and prevent family discord. Consider the most popular reasons for pushing a man to commit adultery.
- Missing interest. With long-term cohabitation with men, interest in his wife as a woman disappears. But they don’t go for a divorce, because they have a lot to do with their wives: acquired property, children, habit. Therefore, they are looking for additional emotions on the side. In order to avoid such situations, a woman needs to constantly monitor her appearance and development. In addition, it is necessary to go into an open conversation on sexual topics with her husband, to learn about his preferences;
- The reason is alcohol. This reason is the most popular and is a direct consequence of the first. When a man is bored with family life, but he cannot soberly decide to commit adultery, then under the influence of alcohol he has courage and determination. To eliminate this problem, you need to act in the same way as in the first case;
- Revenge for treason wife. For a man, cheating a wife is a great blow to his ego. And this revenge can take a long time. In this case, a frank conversation between the spouses is needed, in which you need to repent each other and give each other a promise about the preservation of marital fidelity. This is allowed in the case of betrayal by stupidity and with unheated feelings between the spouses;
- Lack of attention and sex. Often women are busy with work, at home, with children, so that their beloved husband does not have enough time. And in cases of refusal by her and in the intimate terms, one can expect inevitable male adultery. So how to seek comfort he will start on the side. Therefore, it is not necessary to bring a man to this, and it is better to make concessions to him, in order to preserve the marriage union.
Psychology tips
In the case of adultery, you can refer to the advice of a psychologist who can tell you how to behave in this situation. There are several possible ways to get out of this unpleasant situation:
- You can put up with it. This method is used by mature women who are married for a long time. Upon learning of treason, they pretend as if nothing had happened. They do not want to divorce, and their sexual life is of little interest to them;
- You can forgive and quietly break up. This is characteristic of confident women who are not able to accept adultery. After a while, they can even forgive, because they believe and hope that they will meet a worthy man on their way of life;
- You can fight for your husband. This is typical of women who are firmly convinced that they have already found their man and they do not intend to search for the other half. This method is suitable for women who are able to play a role and keep in themselves what is happening in her soul. Such wives find out what attracted a man on the side, and create such conditions and emotions at home.
Question answer
What to do with the constant betrayal of her husband?
With constant betrayal of her husband, you need to understand that this can not stop. In this case, there are only two choices - either to part with her husband, or to continue to endure his campaigns. Believing his promises will be stupid.
What if after the betrayal the husband does not want to leave?
If the husband has gone for treason, but does not want to divorce, you need to determine what keeps him next to you.
In this situation, you can always make the right decision. If you decide to leave and the apartment belongs to you, then feel free to point out the door. If the apartment is shared, then in case of divorce, you must file a claim on the division of property, and this time to spend with relatives or in a rental apartment.
How to respond to treason on the Internet?
Very often, men have a love or intimate affair with women over the Internet. For some women this is a betrayal, but for others it is not. But in the first and second cases - it is very unpleasant.
But in order to make a decision, you need to discuss with the husband the reasons that prompted him to this occupation. If this is not a serious hobby, then you can simply put it before a choice: either you or the virtual mistress?
At the first sign of suspicion of treason, every woman needs to create all the conditions to prevent this situation. For this, it is necessary to introduce diversity into family and sexual life. To do everything so that the husband considers you the best, and his thoughts about treason are gone forever.
But even if a betrayal occurred, and you learned about it, then you need to remember that this is not the end of the world. We must quickly correct this misunderstanding and not dwell on one person who does not deserve you.
In the next video - some more tips on the topic of the article.
